I am currently on Day 44 of quarantine, to help prevent the spread of the dreaded COVID-19. It is now the last day of April. My birthday came and went, Easter was just a nice home cooked meal with my love, I live with, no family. Now, I am not complaining, just stating. Although these are troubling times with many of those with family members sick or no longer with us, I cannot help but feeling a little happiness about being stuck in my home. I say this with gratitude, because my family and friends are healthy and doing their best to stay that way. I apologize if I seem disheartened to anyones feelings in this post but honestly COVID-19 saved me.
My life before the spread of COVID-19.
I am 28 now and I hope to have a long healthy life ahead of me. My previous behaviors were not on that right path. I work in the restaurant industry and have been for thirteen years. I love my job about 90% of the time; it is costumer service and there are always those who come through making you question your decisions. Those days you just have to bit the bullet and continue on until the next day.
Most of those bullets are consumed through alcohol at the end of the day and massive amounts of nicotine. I have never been an alcoholic and never will be, but for the majority of my early 20’s, I consumed enough to give the town drunk a run for his money. The chain smoking became so bad that I actually changed that part of my life around early on and officially quit smoking cigarettes two years ago this July.
I still used forms of nicotine, through Juul’s and other vapes. I thought I was slowing down my consumption but that one day at the restaurant would hit and I would be right back to square one with puff after puff.
My relationship was on edge because I was dancing with a cliff. Working 60 hour weeks and coming home tired and grumpy; just wanting to relax and not have anymore human interaction. In a relationship, that is ground zero for disaster. A wedge was slowly growing bigger between my boyfriend and I, but I just couldn’t snap out of it.
I started to question if this is really what I want. A partnership with someone, anyone, not just the man I love dearly. Starting to feel desperate and unsure about what I wanted in life. I knew I wanted him and I forced myself to keep going even though the hours and life were draining me.
The closing of restaurants and the start of quarantine.
In the beginning:
I felt wonderful the first few weeks of quarantine. I treated it as a stay-at-home vacation, I so desperately needed. My love and I had more time together, with just ourselves for human interaction. We would socially drink with each other and sometimes get drunk. We built a bigger bond that we thought was the mend of our relationship. Staying in bed longer just to be next to each other, spending time that we had lost while I was slaving over costumers, and just constantly being with one another.
After those first few weeks, the intensity hit. We had way to much time together and not enough ‘me time’ for both of us. The drinking started to intensify, sneaking shots while cooking, having a spiked coffee to start the day. It was turning into something that could’ve ultimately ended our relationship and at one point almost did. The depression and disfunction kicked in and the world seemed to just stop around us. Questioning again what I actually wanted in life.
The strong bond that we have formed over the past two years, stayed together by the love and passion threads we created. Those strands pulled us back to each other after long talks and listening to the uncertainties we both had running through our minds.
Present day quarantine:
I not only rekindled my relationship with my love but also have found the burning embers of a long lost love of mine. Writing. I have always been the one with the pen and notepad where ever I go; writing down what is on my mind and letting the words build on paper. Even with the joy I had creating stories and journal entries, I never made the effort to grow that love.
Within quarantine, I have not only started to share my writing with others, but also have dedicated a big part of my life to writing. Everyday I am planning and organizing just how I can improve myself as a writer. It made the loneliness and desolation of this worldwide crisis, bearable.
Now on day 44, this is no longer just a hobby to pass time and keep me sane but has become a lifestyle, a career. The pure elation I have each day to get up, drink my coffee, and continue my writing journey, cannot be taken away now. It is set and stone into my routine and habits.
What’s to come after the stay-at-home order is lifted?
I want to continue this career path and spend as much time as I can growing into this profession. I unfortunately, will not be able to stick to the schedule I have been living once the stay-at-home order is lifted. At least not yet. I need to make sure financially I am supported enough to keep my life healthy and on track. Going back to the restaurant life is a must until I can make this into the career I dream of. With that being said, I will not fall back into the lifestyle of restaurant costumer service. I will not let my life be taken over again.
My plan is to go back part time, to make enough money to keep my love and me stable with full tummies and a roof over our head, but still leave enough time to continue what I truly love. This will mean a new thought out plan to organize a new writing schedule. Time-management is always the key to success but it will be my new pillar to growing the business and career I now long for.
What quarantine has given me.
In this worldwide crisis I have learned:
- To give myself the time and space needed to improve my mental health.
- Giving myself opportunities to continue growing as an individual and as a partner in a loving relationship.
- Write, and keep writing. Let it all spill out and put it out there for the world to see.
I will take this time as a lesson in life to keep living and follow the path that will best lead me to success and happiness.
If you are having trouble in this strange time here are somethings to try.
- Cooking and baking: It is a nice way to step back from all that is going on around you, while giving you the opportunity to try new things. Tip: Check out my Instagram for some easy meal ideas!
- Reading: Find an E-book that interests you. Sit down and devour those pages and let your mind flow somewhere else. Tip: My Instagram is full of top rated books you can checkout.
- Play games: There are many ways to find a game you can pass your time with. I mean we have mini computers at our fingertips with loads of apps waiting for you to Spears hours on. Tip: The Sims is free right now on mobile and PC.
- Journaling: Start a journal that you write in everyday. This will help you release some inner thoughts and concerns that you didn’t even know you were holding up. It is also nice to check out your later eateries and see how you have grown. Tip: Check out the app Prompted Journal, it gives you a daily prompt to journal about, repeats the prompts, and saves past entries so you can see how you have changed.
We are all going through some rough situations right now. My biggest advice if you are having trouble, reach out. Reach out to loved ones, friends, co-workers, someone online, and anyone who will listen. There is always someone who will listen and is willing to help. Reach out to me because I am always willing to help someone in need, call it my costumer service heart.
Stay safe everyone! Hopefully we are at the end of this dark tunnel.